I really miss you
You ever think of someone and get irritated at the fact that they’re not the worst person ever but they’re still shitty and you just wish they wouldn’t be because you want them in your life
I woke up, again.
Reached out for your hand.
I’d imagine it would have been there this time.
Being up before the alarm you set is a comforting feeling.
Although, the sound too (of the alarm) reminds me of the many morning spent waking up next to you.
I don’t sleep well.
I grind my teeth.
It’s starting to get bad.
My jaw hurts daily.
This is probably the third or fourth time that I have thought of you. About you. Loving you all the same.
I thought about the time you and I convinced one another that it was a good idea to smoke weed and have sex.
We smoked, walked to get snacks. And you talked the entire time. I looked at you and said, “im so high. You have to stop talking” and you laughed and i smiled.
Funny thing to think about now.
But i miss you constantly.
I doubt you will ever read this.
I guess, it’s safe enough place as any. But, I totally fucked up. And, I broke my promise to you. I was never any good.
And, I’m sorry I treated you so poorly. And I’m not at all okay any more. I loved you much more than you could imagine. I’m sorry I was too selfish to show it.